The Other Man

The Other Man

Recently, I saw one of my long standing patients for a routine visit. I have been his physician for many years. He is quadriplegic and has been so for over 14 years. He had an accident when he was about 40 years old. He was a passenger in a car driven by a friend.

They were returning from a fishing trip. His seat belt had not latched on properly on that fateful day. He fell asleep, and unfortunately his friend who was driving also fell asleep at the wheel. The car ran off the road, and when my patient woke up in the hospital, he was paralyzed from the chest down. His friend who was driving was unhurt.

Months of rehabilitation followed. He was lucky that he still had some movement in his hands. He learnt to move around in an electric wheelchair. He even learnt to drive a specially modified van with hand controls. He had been married with two daughters before the accident. His mother subsequently also moved in with them. He had to close down a business that he had owned and gradually adjusted to his new lifestyle.

On the recent visit, I asked him how things were going with his wife. Oh I got divorced and made her leave, he said. She was having an affair, he continued. She was also using the money from his disability income to make trips and have fun with this other guy.

I am so sorry to hear this I said to him. Who was the guy? He was one of my closest friends he replied. Apparently it was a friend of his he had taken into his home many years ago. This man had been effectively homeless at that time after his father had thrown him out of his house.

When my patient found out about the affair, he was so upset that he pulled out two handguns and pointed them at his friend and wife and asked them to come clean or he would shoot. I then asked him how he did that, as his hands did not have full strength. I thought holding guns in his hands may have been difficult. Oh, I can hold the guns and I have enough strength in my middle finger to pull the trigger, he said.

They admitted their affair and he asked both to leave his house. They did leave and now live together. His younger daughter chose to continue to live with him. His older daughter had gotten married and moved out. His mother also continued to live with him.

I said that it was so very sad that his friend who he had sheltered in his home for such a long time betrayed him in this way. Oh I am better off now he said.

He was then silent for a little while then said, “he was also the friend driving the car I had the accident in”. It took a while for this information to sink in.

So, this man, who my patient had taken into his home for so many years was responsible for the accident that caused my patient to be quadriplegic. He then continued to live off my patient’s disability income, living in his home, while also having an affair with his wife.

I said to my patient that this is so wrong! He smiled at me and without the slightest hint of bitterness, said - “this is life”!

Recently my patient died at age 54 from repeated infections that quadriplegic patients often get. May his soul rest in peace.