The Paraplegic

The Paraplegic

One of my patients was seeing me in the office. He was in his early fifties, and has been my patient for many years. He is paraplegic, with no sensation below his waist. He does not have bowel or bladder function and has a colostomy for his stools. For his urine, he self-catheterizes himself several times a day.


About 25 years ago, he was running his own business and was quite successful. He was athletic and socially active. One fateful Saturday, he was doing some work on the roof of his home. He accidentally fell off and lost consciousness. When he awoke in the hospital, he found that he had fractured his back, and his legs were paralyzed.



Months of surgeries and rehabilitation followed. He was now wheel chair bound, but learnt to drive again with hand controls. He had complications, notably a tendency to develop pressure sores in his lower back. He had multiple plastic surgery procedures for this. He gradually learnt to deal with his limitations and even got a part time job.



More recently, his problematic back ulcer had recurred leading to infection in the bone. He was treated with aggressive intravenous antibiotics and more plastic surgery procedures. He always maintained a stoic and positive outlook, which I greatly admired.

At this office visit, I was accompanied in the clinic by a young medical student. She happened to be in her third trimester of pregnancy. Noticing her pregnant state, my patient asked her when she was due.  In about a month she replied. He then asked what everyone asks – “is it a boy or a girl”? She laughed and said it is one or the other as she and her husband had decided not to find out beforehand. At this point, I asked my patient if he had ever had children.

He became quiet and then said no, he had not. I moved on with his visit and was refilling his medications, when he suddenly said – “I had to go to the doctor several times”. What do you mean, I asked? Did you have trouble having a child? You don’t understand, he replied. Those visits were to take care of pregnancies. “I murdered my children” he stated rather abruptly, albeit in a quiet voice.

Taken aback, I asked what he meant. As a young man he had several girlfriends, he explained. Some of these had become pregnant. At that time, he was not ready to become a parent and convinced his girlfriends to terminate the pregnancies. By his own count he had to do this five times.

After his accident, he lost his business. Subsequently his girlfriends left him. He now lives alone. I asked him why had he never mentioned this to me before. He replies in a matter of fact manner - because you never asked.