For Family

For Family

In the course of my work as a physician I meet many remarkable individuals. Many of these people have made sacrifices for the sake of their family. This takes many forms and one afternoon I saw two different aspects of this.

 The first patient was an elegant widowed lady in her fifties who had been having trouble with anxiety lately. She had been widowed as a young woman in her early thirties. Her husband had died of cancer. She tells me that on his deathbed, she held his hand and promised him that she will take care of their children.

 At that time, she had three small children, the youngest of which was three years old. She worked hard as a single parent, working two jobs. She even went back to college and successfully graduated. She put all three children through college. Her older daughter and son were married with children.

 She worked a good job, and lived by herself in her own home. She had never re-married. Her children and grandchildren did spend time with her, but she often found herself alone at home. She felt that her children and grandchildren did not need her as much anymore.

 The second patient was an equally elegant woman in her sixties who was also having trouble with anxiety. Her husband had suffered a stroke and required her to be a full time caregiver at home. Added to that, she took care of her father who was in his nineties and also totally dependent on her. She was under a lot of stress because of this. She felt that she was needed all the time as neither her husband nor her father could function without her.

 In the space of one afternoon, I saw two remarkable women. One had sacrificed the best years of her life to give her children a good upbringing. Now that they were independent and with their own families, she was feeling a little left out. She however relished the success of her children. She would not have it any other way.

 The other woman was devoting her every waking minute taking care of her disabled husband and elderly father. When, I suggested a nursing home for them, she shrugged her shoulders and said no, she will take care of them as long as she has the ability to do so. She would also not have it any other way.

 One felt like she was not needed as much, and the other felt that she was excessively needed. My opinion is that both these women are very much needed and make our world a better place to live. They are also making a big difference to their families.

 I feel a deep sense of gratitude and respect for both these remarkable women.