The Three Rings
Recently I was seeing a patient of mine. She was in her early seventies and was quite healthy. She was always cheerful with a smile on her face. I
loved her positive attitude and we had a great visit discussing her preventive
care. Towards the end of the visit, I noticed the necklace she was wearing. It
was three intertwined rings, each with a name on them. I said to her that this
is very nice and asked her if those were her children? She said yes, those were
her three children. I asked her if they lived nearby. She looked at me and said
in a very matter of fact way, “no, they are all dead”!
I was greatly taken aback. I asked, what happened? She replied – her daughter was in her late twenties and married with children. She developed gall bladder problems
and had to have surgery. This surgery was botched according to her and her
daughter died. The grandchildren went with their father and she has not seen
them since. She does not know where they live. Her older son was killed in a car
accident also in his twenties. The youngest son got married and had a son, but at the age of 48 he
had a heart attack and died. His son is the one grandchild she is still in
touch with. Today, she herself lives with her husband. He gave her the necklace
in memory of their children.
She spoke to me about her husband and the wonderful
relationship she has with him. She told me that they have been great support
for each other. She also told me that she takes comfort in the fact that she
will be reunited with her children one day.
I have seen many patients who have lost children. Many are older and in the late stages of their lives. I usually sense the existence of significant grief and a common hope that they will once again meet their children after they themselves die.
I reflected a lot on my patient's journey in life. What impressed me
the most was her positive attitude and cheerful nature. There is a lesson I
learnt here. Life may give us setbacks and tragedies, but it does not stop us
from looking at the positives we have and maintaining a good attitude. I am grateful to my patient for teaching
me this.
